Sentence editing.

1. It was the first, and last photograph that I had taken of him doing exactly what he loved to do most; playing hockey.

It was the first and last photograph that I had taken of him doing exactly what he loved to do most, playing hockey.

2. Still walking with the air of a leader, i know my older sisters face is hard and emotionless.

Still walking with the air of a leader, I know my older sister’s face is hard and emotionless.

3. At six o’clock, my homework was done and I walked downstairs to heat up the leftover lasagna.

At six o’clock, my homework was done, I walked downstairs to heat up the left over lasagna.

4. It was so hard and boring, I wanted to get out and start a whole new and better future for myself, I didn’t understand that's what school was doing. 

It was so hard and boring. I wanted to get out and start a whole new and better future for myself; I didn’t understand that's what school was doing. 

5. My ill ringlets they would curl like the tail of a piglet.

My little ringlets would curl like the tail of a piglet.

6. As the crowd hollers I simply raise my arm and fist pump the clear, ocean blue sky.

As the crowd hollers, I simply raise my arm and fist pump the clear ocean blue sky.

7. Its hard enough to build a house by yourself but when the sound of a thunderstorm coming in is even worse.

It’s hard enough to build a house by yourself; even more so with the sound of a thunderstorm coming in it is even worse.

8. I get out of bed, my floor was so cold, it was just another cold morning in the mountains of Alberta.

I got out of bed. My floor was cold; it was just another cold morning in the mountains of Alberta.

9. As we saw up and measure the lumber we realize we've been working for 5 hours, so we go in to Jamal’s house and eat some sandwiches and drink some grape kool-aid that my girl friend prepared for us.

As we saw up and measure the lumber, we realize we've been working for 5 hours. We decide to go into Jamal’s house and eat some sandwiches and drink some grape kool aid that my girl friend prepared for us.

10. they looked magnificent not sad or anything happy, walking threw the meadow grazing beautifully.

They looked magnificent, not sad. They were happy walking through the meadow grazing beautifully.

11. I took another drag, and looked up at the sky - a wild array of pink’s and orange’s.

I took another drag and looked up at the sky - a wild array of pinks and oranges.

12. It’s a nice early morning in Colorado there was no wind at all and you could tell its was going to be a beautiful day by just looking out the window.

It’s a nice early morning in Colorado. There is no wind at all, and you could tell it's going to be a beautiful day by just looking out the window.

13. I was completely astonished of seeing this disaster , it was something I've never seen in my life.

I was completely astonished after seeing this disaster; it was something I've never seen in my life.

14. Looking through old newspapers, reading about so many deaths and losses.

I was looking through old newspapers, reading about so many deaths and losses.

15. After the accident me and my brother moved in with my grandparents.

After the accident, my brother and I moved in with my grandparents.